Scattered toward every wind …


An Open Letter to Indie Music Dancing Guy …
Friday, 6 March, 2009, 5:15 am
Filed under: music | Tags: , , , ,

Hey there Indie Music Dancing Guy … remember me? chances are, you probably don’t. i was seated behind you, right balcony, row W, seat 7 last Monday at the Loney, Dear/Andrew Bird concert at the Moore here in Seattle . now, of course, were were never formally introduced, nor did we acknowledge each other’s presence, but you were hard to miss, and certainly, as i am now painfully aware, hard to forget.

first off, congratulations on really pissing off douche baggins sitting next to you, who was obviously more interested in his girlfriend than the wonderful music being presented for us. seriously, that was some fine work … that dude deserved to be sitting next to a die hard fan. second-of-ly, i have a real appreciation for someone so unaware and self-unconscious … you obviously love the music of andrew bird, and you even more obviously do not care who knows it.

while i do appreciate your unbridled enthusiasm for the music of andrew bird, specifically his song “fake plaindromes”, i have found it increasingly hard to detach my thoughts of the song from your dancing. this came to my attention today while sitting in uptown espresso in belltown. the barista on duty had started playing some andrew bird. this was a welcome change over the previous barista’s choice of neil diamond. i love listening to andrew  bird, the problem, you see, is that when his song “fake palindromes” came on, my immediate thought was not, “damn, i love this song.”, but rather mental images of you dancing.

now, please don’t take this as a knock on your dancing. i am not much of a dancer myself, and far be it from me to judge someone else’s dancing … it’s just that dancing in such a confined space really restricts one’s options for dance moves. you looked pretty ridiculous … with a person on each side of you, seats in front and behind you, your movement was limited to rocking ever so slightly, yet vigorously to the left and to the right, while carelessly moving your arms in such a way that the aforementioned douche baggins was ready to knock you out. it was quite a scene, indeed. so much of one, in fact, that it has not left my mind since. and this brings me back to the whole reason for this letter … your dancing, though entertaining at the time, has infiltrated my mind in such a way that with each listen of andrew bird, my enjoyment of his music is ruined … well, ruined is a strong word … my enjoyment of his music is tainted by the images of your dancing in my head. so … i implore you to, by all means, enjoy the shows you go to … but please, think of those around you before you begin your ridiculous dancing.

sincerely, your fellow andrew bird fan,

Brian

PS – douche baggins is guilty of bigger crimes and atrocities than you, but that is best saved for another letter.

and i can certainly appreciate one who is so unaware of his surroundings and so caught in a blissful moment
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