An Open Letter to Indie Music Dancing Guy …

Hey there Indie Music Dancing Guy … remember me? chances are, you probably don’t. i was seated behind you, right balcony, row W, seat 7 last Monday at the Loney, Dear/Andrew Bird concert at the Moore here in Seattle . now, of course, were were never formally introduced, nor did we acknowledge each other’s presence, but you were hard to miss, and certainly, as i am now painfully aware, hard to forget.

first off, congratulations on really pissing off douche baggins sitting next to you, who was obviously more interested in his girlfriend than the wonderful music being presented for us. seriously, that was some fine work … that dude deserved to be sitting next to a die hard fan. second-of-ly, i have a real appreciation for someone so unaware and self-unconscious … you obviously love the music of andrew bird, and you even more obviously do not care who knows it.

while i do appreciate your unbridled enthusiasm for the music of andrew bird, specifically his song “fake plaindromes”, i have found it increasingly hard to detach my thoughts of the song from your dancing. this came to my attention today while sitting in uptown espresso in belltown. the barista on duty had started playing some andrew bird. this was a welcome change over the previous barista’s choice of neil diamond. i love listening to andrew  bird, the problem, you see, is that when his song “fake palindromes” came on, my immediate thought was not, “damn, i love this song.”, but rather mental images of you dancing.

now, please don’t take this as a knock on your dancing. i am not much of a dancer myself, and far be it from me to judge someone else’s dancing … it’s just that dancing in such a confined space really restricts one’s options for dance moves. you looked pretty ridiculous … with a person on each side of you, seats in front and behind you, your movement was limited to rocking ever so slightly, yet vigorously to the left and to the right, while carelessly moving your arms in such a way that the aforementioned douche baggins was ready to knock you out. it was quite a scene, indeed. so much of one, in fact, that it has not left my mind since. and this brings me back to the whole reason for this letter … your dancing, though entertaining at the time, has infiltrated my mind in such a way that with each listen of andrew bird, my enjoyment of his music is ruined … well, ruined is a strong word … my enjoyment of his music is tainted by the images of your dancing in my head. so … i implore you to, by all means, enjoy the shows you go to … but please, think of those around you before you begin your ridiculous dancing.

sincerely, your fellow andrew bird fan,

Brian

PS – douche baggins is guilty of bigger crimes and atrocities than you, but that is best saved for another letter.

and i can certainly appreciate one who is so unaware of his surroundings and so caught in a blissful moment

“let’s talk about the future for a moment …”

i can explain … i think all i need is one word, actually …

life.

that sums up the extent of my absence, and thus, my lack of involvement here.

apologies all around.

i miss the hot, lazy summer days as a child … the day would pass slowly into evening, lilting along with an easy current, mimicking the soft, warm breeze  july in oklahoma. i look back now and imagine myself as an oft-seen tumbleweed … blowing along the dusty earth, carried toward every wind with nary a care … as a child, the worries of being caught in the wind and scattered about were groundless … obligations were few, fun was abundant. as years have passed since i enjoyed carefree days of warmth and joy, many things have changed. obligations are many … there are important, life-altering decisions to be made … fun can still be abundant, though the time one has to have such fun, has been greatly diminished. life is a struggle … ever-constant … push/pull, light/dark, joy/pain, happiness/sorrow, life/death … but at the center of this struggle is where beauty is most defined … i hope to find myself centered more often than not in this struggle in the coming days, as i finalize plans to uproot myself from my home of more than 18 years … leaving friends, family, and most things familiar and comfortable to me. there is still much work to be done, and some things still need to fall into place, but i am trying to take in these scary and exciting days with the mindset of the child i once was … being able to enjoy the ride, more than stress about it … being able to see the beauty that is at the heart of struggle.

i was informed last week that my position at work is being cut at the end of the month. reading this, many of you (all two or three of you) would normally assume that this is an awful thing, though, not at all surprising, given all of the bad news fed to us about the economy and lessthanstellar job market. i can tell you that this news reached my ears and was met with excitement. i have felt pretty trapped at this job … dependant upon it for income, yet being completely bored with and uninspired by it. unfortunately, with many financial obligations, the money out-dueled my boredom and dreams, and so i kept on in it. every day was the same … nothing new … exciting things were coming up over the horizon, but looked dim, like the sunrise on a cloudy day … the job was the cloud-cover, teasing me … i could see the faint hints of light, but it was obstructed just enough to keep me discouraged. now that the clouds have cleared, my dreams are once again coming into focus. these are exciting times, indeed.

and to add to the excitement …

RELEVANT MAG: Let’s talk about the future for a moment. I hear you’re working on a project with Sam Beam. That sounds like a match made in heaven. Can you tell us any more about what’s to come?

ROSIE THOMAS: Sam and I are great friends. He sang at my wedding and is just such a sweet man who has his heart in the right place. I like him a lot and I like his work. For years he’s been pushing me to do a record with him and I finally took him up on it. We’re starting in February. I’m not really sure where it will go, but we have high hopes for it. It will be great just to be around him. He keeps making jokes saying, “Rosie, I really want you to just belt something out. I want to hear some real R&B from you.” It’s funny. … I didn’t set out to only do records with friends. But this stuff just keeps coming up and it’s too fun. I can’t turn it down. It’s where I’m supposed to be right now.

now that she’s been married off, maybe rosie will keep the joking about being pregnant to a minimum for this collaboration.

cheers.

sunday sunrise

going to work at 5:30am every morning (m-f) is a terrible thing. i am, by nature, a night owl. my mind is at its most productive and active state in the late evening and early morning hours. since i have had to wake up for work as early as 4:30am for the past year, i have tried to discipline myself with a bedtime. most nights i try to be in bed before 10pm. i am usually prostrate, but wide awake for at least an hour before i actually slip slowly, restlessly into a night’s slumber. the sleep is hardly ever restful or refreshing. it seemed for a while nothing good came from being up so early. however, i have more recently began cataloging, through photography, each day’s sunset. i have not gotten to the point where i shoot every day, but i hope that that day will come. in addition, it should also be noted that i haven’t always had my camera on me, so my cell phone has had to suffice. the photos presented below are all taken with my cell phone and were taken the week of dec. 29-today …

new years eve

January 2nd

january 2nd (brightness adjusted)

this morning ...

keep in mind that these have been shot with a cell phone and that to truly capture the beauty of each sunrise, (even the best camera fails) one must take them in with his/her own eyes. i would ask you to wake up for a sunrise and let the first light of day hit your eyes and illumine your soul, just as the light hits the trees. let the beauty speak to you and touch your soul.

cheers.

“turning the page of night”

soft moon glow

perhaps i will find some time to write about this later, but i wanted to get my lastest drawing up here for you …

cheers.

our endless numbered days …

my mother was in a automobile accident yesterday. she’s fine. some bastard “sneezed” and ran a red light … smacked into right side rear of the car. spun her around onehundredandeighty degrees. the car didn’t fare as well as my mother. a flat tire, a decent sized gash in the back rear quarterpanel … a partially smashed bumper i didn’t find out until i got home from work today. nearly twentyfour hours after the accident occurred.

it is jarring, suddenly realizing the fragility of life. we forget our days are numbered … whether or not he meant it this way, sam beam’s coining of “our endless numbered days” as a lyric and album title, has opened my eyes to how, though our days are numbered, we live as if we are guaranteed tomorrow, and the next day, and the next day. i live in the midst or this terrible dichotomy between what actually is (the fragility of life) and what we all hope for (safety and long, full lives).

i walked out to my car this afternoon after my dad had driven the damaged car home from the mechanic, and sat as my car warmed, staring at the damage the car sustained. i couldn’t help but weep over what easily might have been. i thank God for the grace He’s poured out.

it’s been a heavy afternoon.

while i’m still here, and on a completely different note … if you’re a vocabulary nerd like myself, or really any kind of nerd, and if you want to boost your nerd ego AND fight world hunger, may a direct you to freerice.com

cheers.

storms, rainbows, and rosie thomas … her friends, jupiter, venus, and the moon … or the beauty of yesterday

but i only have photographic proof of one of these …

i was trying to finish up “a farewell to arms” before returning it to the library, and actually planned an extended reading session over some christmas blend at my local starbucks, as i had a free drink coupon. my best laid plans, however, were thrown off track by the mesmerizing sky.

i sat outside to enjoy my coffee and book (along with a clove) and began reading. shortly thereafter, a blustery wind kicked up and the sky suddenly was a sweeping swath of gray clouds. big, heavy drops of rain began to fall and i gathered my things and headed inside, but not before stealing the photo from above on my cameraphone. the clouds quickly overcame the sun [as it tried to assert its light and warmth] and dumped a quick downpour across the area … as the clouds exited stage east, leaving mere showers behind, the sun once again broke through the gray and shone brilliantly through. the sky was painted in hues of gray, pink, and yellow and the sun’s light reflected its blinding light off of the wet blacktop of the parking lot. i walked out the door and was greeted with a vividly intense rainbow. being colorblind, rainbows can sometimes be difficult for me to spot, but this particular one … announced its presence quite adamantly. using the very useful ROY G BIV mnemonic device, i deduced that the yellow and green rays of the spectrum were the most prominent, and gradually increased in intensity as they neared the horizon. it was just the beginning of my encounters with beauty …

while at starbucks, after giving up on getting some good reading done, i hopped online and was convinced by a dear friend to see rosie thomas (and her friends) at jammin’ java in vienna, va. the show started at 8pm, so we drove down around 6:45. night had already come, and with it, darkness and his celestial friends. those who happened to notice, were given a glimpse of a bright, crescent moon, jupiter, and a ridiculously bright venus. these celestial bodies were all bunched together for a portion of the night, forming a smile in the sky.

rosie thomas did not disappoint, playing a mix of songs from her new Christmas CD, as well as a good mix of older and newer originals. she is spectacular and has an uncanny ability to command your attention. though her songs can be melancholy and quiet, her voice is one that grabs you and pulls you in. and one would never think that a singing voice so full and dynamic, would come from someone whose speaking voice is so mousy and childlike. in addition her musical talents being on display, rosie cracked jokes the whole night, and just the sound of her giggle would elicit audience smiles and laughter. in short, she is adorable. another thing that sets rosie apart is how real she is. once she develops a rapport with the audience (which happens almost immediately), anything she says is heard … she doesn’t take that for granted, as everything she said, even if it was something silly, held authenticity and hope. this was particularly evident when she would preface a song or two with a story of how the song came to be. she, on more than one occasion, reminded her captivated audience, that, yes, things can be bad, but that there is reason for hope in the midst of the storms. it may sound cheeseball coming from a lot of other artists, but not so with rosie. she was more than just entertaining … she was a source of beauty and means of grace.

maybe your day today has not been a good one … though i would not recommend living in the past, i would implore you to look to the beauty of yesterday. now that you’re a day removed from it, look back on it, and recognize the beauty you may have missed.

[ the yesterday i am referring to in this post was monday, dec. 1 ]

cheers.

the dead of winter

december is upon us, but i cannot say that this writer feels much of a difference from the last days of a month and the first days.

when i left for seattle on nov. 11, the trees here in md were brilliantly colored. the leaves decided to make their last days, their best. i had plans to return from the west coast and photograph various locations catalogued in my mind. i wanted to pull out and dust off my canon slr, which i’ve almost exclusively used to shoot in black and white, and shoot autumn’s dying display in color. two things stopped me from doing so: firstly, the battery in the camera needed to be replaced, and second-of-ly, the leaves could not hold on long enough for me to captured them on film … for when i returned just a week later on the 18th, most of the trees were mere skeletons, stripped of their brightly colored leafy robes. it was quite a let down to say the least, but there is beauty in the dead of winter.

/in the winter wood/

/there is no life to be found/

/felled leaves, fallen snow/

just as the trees in maryland were preparing for the change of seasons, out in seattle, i too, was preparing for a possible change. i have been in the process of applying to the art institute of seattle to go back to school to both broaden my horizons and narrow my focus. half way home in the application process, having last week submitted my financial aid information … waiting on the numbers.

thanksgiving proved to be too much at times. family, and then more family as we celebrated an aunt’s 60th birthday on friday. extensions of extended family … our small house proved too small to afford one solitude of any kind, even for five minutes. i survived.

/the moon is a cold light/ … and some thanksgiving thoughts

just a brief little sumthin sumthin for happygivingthanksday …

a photo and a song …

Bon Iver – Blindsided

today my house will be full of family, both immediate and extended. my brother is up from virginia beach. my aunt marty is up from clearwater. my uncle larry and aunt besty are down from martha’s vineyard. i’m pretty certain my seldom-seen cousin aaron, from right in baltimore, will be making an appearance. the house will barely be able to contain all the people and the food, so i am thankful to be at work this morning. thankful to be at work, you say? well, with a crowded home, there will be nowhere to get a moment to myself if needed. call it some form of antisocial behavior (antisocialism?) … call it me being a loner … call it social anxiety disorder … hell, you can even call it dislike of family … there may be a part of each one of these things in me to make me feel this way, but when comes down to it, these moments alone at work will help me defeat these behaviors when i finally get to go home around noontime. by then, i will be ready to be thankful for my family. though the dynamic is always a bit tense when a particular aunt is present, we all love her and her ridiculous foibles … we know that we have our own. when we all sit around the table, we not only extend our hands to embrace when we say grace … we extend grace itself, and set aside our annoyances and embrace the differences … embrace the idiosyncrasies/shortcomings and are thankful that we have people at the end of the day who we can break bread with, without being judged too much … even if we do chew with our mouth open.

may you give thanks to God for the blessings He has poured out …

cheers.

Knuffeltje Knuffel

happened upon this delightfully devilish dutch morsel …

"Good day, Mister Toadstool."

hope the absurdity and general weirdness of this cartoon brought a smile to your face.

i’ve found that the longer you look at it, the funnier it gets.

drink it in.

cheers.

addendum

i had some more thoughts to add to my previous post … so i’ve called this the addendum.

i’m going to post another drawing to help illustrate some more thoughts more aptly. this was the first drawing i did in the dead tree series. it may look familiar …

jon foreman, anyone?

again, this image was achieved by doing the actual drawing and then taking a photo of that drawing using lighting to add to the overall aesthetic. once the photo is on the computer, i touch it up using some simple software. this method suits me well because my drawing skills leave much to be desired and it allows me to be creative in other areas of media.

the above drawing was something i did from scratch … that is, you will not find this tree anywhere, as far as i know. but apparently the design of the tree and its shadow are not completely original, as they look uncannily similar to the cover of jon foreman’s fall ep. this was an honest “mistake” but i think it points to something that resonates in me …

long before i knew of jon foreman’s “ep-for-every-season” project, i had envisioned a photo project based on the four seasons. i had (as i believe i discussed in the previous post) thought about finding a place of particular beauty, and taking a picture during every season, showing the beauty of each setting. scrambler and i recently discussed these things. he articulated it more perfectly than i ever could … and i won’t even try to regurgitate what he said word for word, for fear of butchering it, but … it revolved around the idea that through the seasons the tree’s appearance will change … it will look different, but it is still the same tree … beautiful in its own way in all four seasons.

the fours seasons illustrated through trees …

i love the change of seasons. i think i would grow tired of a place that didn’t have them. i crave the wholeness of the year. times of sunshine and warmth. times of gray and cold. times of dry and of wet. there are times the weather suits my mood. there are also times when the weather dictates my mood. i suppose it is the same as movies and literature, and other forms of stimuli. this really is a poor attempt to articulate these thoughts of mine, but i shall continue nonetheless.

complete.

we like the idea of complete. each season complements its predecessor and successor. gloaming and dawn complete the day. we say things “complete us” … referencing the fact that we are, in fact, incomplete in our current state. we hear a piece of music that ends on something other than the root chord of the key … this deceptive cadence, as it is referred to in music, leaves the listener on the edge of his or her seat, waiting for the chord and piece to be resolved or redeemed by the root … this makes us uncomfortable … this “incompleteness” of the song.

we like stories that resolve, and we marvel at our stories of “incompleteness” and brokenness being resolved and redeemed by our Maker. we’ve been shown all around us glimpses of His work, which is a great mystery, but one that offers hope of change, wholeness, and even beauty in every season.

cheers.